Google in the Uncyclopedia (Funny!)

I must say, I love their image search, I can type in anything I want and I’ll get such sexy naked pictures in return and the best part is no one knows! Wait, the government monitors these now? Oh, dear….”~ Oscar Wilde on Google Image Search

“I’m going to fucking bury that thing, I have done it before, and I will do it again… I’m going to f*cking killâ„¢ Google”
~ Steve Ballmer on Google

“Don’t Google the question Moss!”~ Chris O’Dowd on Google

Google is the world’s most popular file-sharing network, powered by their patented EvilRank technology.

History of Google

The word ‘Google’ is derived from the latin word googlus which can be translated variously as “search engine that finds great Pr0n“, “The Great Satan”, or “Error 404: File Not Found”. Google Inc. began on the 6th of June 1996 (66′96)as a highly secret government program focusing on the effect of blank pages on Internet users. After three years of subjecting hapless Internets users to the pages, the project collapsed under fire from top government officials for failing to collect any data whatsoever.

In January 1998, the project was sold to individual investors Sergey Page and Larry Brin, who sold off the unused blank pages to the highest bidders. Two months later, the project was resold at half price, with only a few pages remaining, to Sergey Brin and Larry Page.

The two new owners revamped the pages to include a text box, for users to type in what they were looking for. Users were presented with the pages when individual machines sensed users’ frustration; meanwhile, Sergey and Larry were standing by at their desks, waiting for queries. At first, the queries were written down by hand, a painstaking process. When Larry contracted carpal tunnel syndrome, a new idea had to be brainstormed, and Sergey delivered: log the queries to disk.

Google Inc, as we know it today, was born. Larry, using a new voice recognition system, began creating pages in response, creating the first Internets search engine and named it Page Rank in honor of himself.

Google Today

Now Google is a popular porn page that costs users hundreds of dollars to use. Google Inc has made many innovations, not the least of which was offshoring Larry’s Page Rank system to a team of typewriting monkeys in Singapore. Thanks to the funding from the record-breaking IPO, Google serves billions of almost-blank pages (all of them with text boxes) to millions of users every day, and has expanded services to include maps, shopping, email, video, and midget bowling. Google’s motto is “Don’t be hatin’” or “Don’t be latin’” depending on the distance.

During the War in Iraq, Bush used Google to search for WMD. He’s still surfing.

Google and China

Google has recently become an arm of the Communist Party of China. Anyone searching for information about Tibet will receive the message “did you mean Norman Tebbit?” Following Google’s expansion into China, Uncyclopedia was banned from Google search results for tirelessly championing the rights of all people on earth to the accurate, unbiased, and uncensored information available through Uncyclopedia, as well as repeatedly using the words “Democracy” and “Human Rights”. Also an Uncyclopedia admin accidentally ran over Sergei Brin’s dog which probably has something to do with it.

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Bill Gates Admits MAC is better

Now was this the only thing that Bill Gates needed to say. I don’t think so. This particular one will once again prove that Microsoft Windows is good for nothing and is just a bloated piece of crap.. Cheers to all MAC fans..

SEO : Top Ten Costly Mistakes

You have probably read many articles which talks about SEO mistakes. There is actually no way to determine and weight the most costly mistake, so here I’m being biased by saying - Top Ten costly Mistakes. Well anyway, by saying so at least I am able to make you read this article! Frankly speaking, there is no end of gaining knowledge! Even if you have read articles about the same topic maybe thousand times, there is no harm in reading a new one! Even today, when I see articles about SEO and other topics which interests me, I read them thoroughly, if not I just scan through to get new information and ideas.

SEO is a very popular topic, especially to webmasters. Many webmaster hires professional in SEO to achieve high rankings! Well honestly speaking, this is nothing but a waste because SEO is not something for which you need a PhD or Degree! There is no course in Bachelors in Search Engine Optimization as yet! SEO is something that you can do yourself, provided you have enough time and patience.

Here are my top ten SEO mistakes to avoid

Mistake No.1: Improper Planning

This is not totally related with SEO, but I think this is very important. If you don’t know who our market is, and what they want then I guess your ranking is not going to help. Yes, they will probably give you some visitors on your site, eat up your bandwidth, and raise your cost. But your traffic won’t be converted in revenue.

Mistake No. 2: Too much Graphics and less Text is bad

If your website is too much graphics intensive then it won’t be loved by the search engines, as till now search engines cannot process graphics to get the meaning out of it. However you can use the tag which can be read by the search engine and also by the users who cannot view your image.

Mistake No. 3: Not changing the Meta Tags and Title Tags

The title tag is very important when it comes to SEO. So change it on every page of your website, same goes for your Meta tag.

Mistake No. 4: Good use of and tags

Certain html tags (the ones mentioned on the title) have higher presidency than other html tags. So make sure you have good content inside these tags. For example, highlight your keywords using bold .

Mistake No.5: excessive use of

Content inside iframe tag are usually not read by search engines. So make sure you use the NOFRAMES tag to give it some context.

Mistake No. 6: Tweaking your site for only your preferred search engine

There are billions of users using the internet; just because you use Google won’t mean that all the internet users are using Google for their searching needs. So don’t forget about the other giants (Yahoo & MSN).

Mistake No.7: A Site without a Sitemap

Sitemaps are not often used by visitors in most web sites, but they are very important to indexing crawlers and search engine ranking of new pages.

Mistake No. 8: Relying too much on Keyword Density

This is a very commonly used technique by the spammers. Don’t increase your keyword density to such an extent that the search engine starts disliking you! Instead, stay on-topic and fit in
your keyword terms. How often do you use them? If you read your copy aloud, and it sounds odd, you’ve overdone it.

Mistake No.9: Not enough Links

Links are perhaps the most important element in SEO. If you can get some links from high ranked sites they its fairly easy to get to the top.

Mistake No. 10: Not enough content / Irrelevant content

If your page doesn’t have enough unique content and most of them are irrelevant then you are not doing any good to your site. Copy and pasting from other websites won’t really help. If it could, then every hour we would have copied the news from CNN and posted it on our site. In SEO, you will need fresh and unique content.

Well these were the costly mistakes of SEO.. better avoid them and start building a better and more accessible website..

Are You Web 2.0 ??

While I was surfing around the net, I found this interesting link.. Its called the Web2.0Validator.. Check it out for yourself and tell me how good is it.. I still need to understand what the fuss about web2.0 is all about. Right now my brains thinks web2.0 rounded corners plus some AJAX, of course its much more than just that.

Well 33rockers.com scores 8/51 for the time being..

5 Things Digg must do to Prevent SPAM

Of late I have seen a lot of entries getting to the frontpage of digg which have little or no value to the digg community. Basically people are trying to spam digg in order to get loads of visitors. Groups of Users are digging their own stories and are trying to get bumped up to the frontpage…

Recently a Pay per Digg site called User/Submitter was launched and so far almost every single story submitted through User/Submitter has made it to the frontpage. While this is definitely taking the integrity of digg down to a great extent but there is something that digg can do to prevent large scale spam…

• Cache the stories that make it to the homepage

Basically this means that a user is not shown the original entry but is shown a cached version of the story. This one step will control spam to a great extent, because of the element of traffic present here i.e. the Original website is not going to get loads of visitors anymore.

• Make the Algorithms tougher to crack

Now this can be tricky. Maybe digg can have a completely different algorithm to rank stories and digg should keep updating it all the time just like Google does so that it becomes even tougher for a story that is spam to make it to the homepage.

• Do not Allow Users to Digg from their site

This has to be prevented somehow. All these spam stories are not dugg from the digg site but are actually dugg by the spammers from somewhere else. If this can be stopped people will to open many pages so as to digg. So basically even spamming takes time and is not that easy for large scale spamming.

• Referrer Blocks

Now digg needs to identify sites like User/Submitter and make sure that users coming from that site are not able to digg any stories. This can be really very effective in curbing spam.

• Give more control to the users

The existing system is effective enough but there is just one thing that digg needs to do. It would be better if digg shows how many people have marked a particular story as spam and why have they done so. This would in turn create a greater awareness among the digg community, and also it would be better if digg allows us to mark a user as a spammer.

With all these changes in place, I think people will find it even more difficult to game digg. Hoping that digg remains a place to find new and interesting stuff

How to Hide Secret Documents inside JPEG’s

Ever Wondered how easy it is to hide [or embed] any other file[s] inside a JPEG image. You can place video clips, pdf, mp3, Office documents, zipped files, webpage or any other file format inside a JPEG image.

For a simple software that can do this for you, check out this place..

Thanks toAmith for Sharing..

Web Standards And Designing For The Future

Today, a vast majority of webmasters/designers are designing for IE (Internet Explorer) 6, which is not as W3C standards compliant as is FireFox, Netscape, Safari and Opera. When the final release for IE 7 for Windows XP, Server 2003 & Vista is launched, hopefully before the end of 2006, the tables will be turned, so to speak. Internet Explorer 7 will be more standards compliant and your HTML code will be subject to much more rigorous interpretation than is the case with IE 6, consequently some web pages that look fine in IE 6 might not look the same IE 7.

In IE 7 Microsoft has made a solemn effort to fix the browsers acquiescence to W3C standards and CSS(Cascading Style sheets) compatibility. CSS interpretation as recommended by W3C has been improved tremendously giving designers and developers more leverage in functionality for cross-browser design. Microsoft asserts that they are taking W3C compatibility issues seriously. Concisely what this means is that IE 7 will tend to interpret your web page code more scrupulously than before.

Therefore, if you have been designing your pages and have not bothered to check how they render in W3C Standards Compliant browsers like FireFox, you may be in for a rude shock when IE 7 finally rolls out. If you have not been incorporating W3C Web standards in your design strategy you may need to re-design for IE 7.

How should you go about it?

Design for “strict” browsers like FireFox first. Not only is FireFox a more standards-compliant browser but it is also the primary competitor to Internet Explorer. A contender backed by Google’s marketing machine — and therefore, is not likely do “a Netscape” on designers.

Prior and up to IE 4.x, Netscape was the leading browser in the market with almost 80% of the market, but in a bid to force the issue culminating with proprietary goofs by AOL to whom Netscape sold out, they screwed up big time with versions 4 up to 6. A bitter war of attrition with Microsoft in the late nineties did not help either. Microsoft grabbed the opportunity and gobbled the Browser market overnight. With version 7+ Netscape has been revived. How well it will compete with IE and FireFox remains to be seen.

To design for FireFox a designer needs to combine Valid CSS (Cascading Style Sheets) for “look and feel” and W3C compliant HTML for web page structure.
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Intel to introduce four-in-one PC chips

They will offer a 70 p.c. improvement in performance over dual core equivalents

San Francisco: It was a fact of life explained to Alice by the Red Queen in Lewis Carroll’s Through the Looking Glass: “It takes all the running you can do, to keep in the same place. If you want to get somewhere else, you must run at least twice as fast as that!”

Now the world’s biggest computer chip maker has to prove it all over again. Only months after it launched the Core 2 Duo processor family for the desk top personal computer in India and elsewhere, it is having to say: “Two processors on a chip? That’s so yesterday. It is time to talk four-in-one PC chips.”

At the semi-annual Intel Developer Forum held here earlier in the week, President and Chief Executive Paul Otellini, announced the release in November this year of the world’s first-ever chip with four processor cores on board.

The Core 2 Extreme quad processor is targeted at gamers and game developers — an interesting priority that shows how computation-intensive today’s 2-D and 3-D video games have become.

Later in the year, Intel will go the four-in-one way for its Xeon line of chips for servers, the corporate end of computing and by early 2007, the Core2 Quad chip will fuel the consumer home-office PC, Mr. Otellini said, adding that they will offer a dramatic 70 per cent improvement in performance over their dual core equivalents.

Also next year, the company will migrate from today’s 65 nanometre technology to 45 nanometres for its chip manufacturing — underlying its commitment to the mantra of Moore’s Law, first postulated a quarter century ago by Intel co-founder Gordon Moore.

Listen to Net radio on your Mobile

The days of hovering over a tabletop radio receiver and twirling the knobs to try and catch a distant station have gone with the wind. Internet Radio is here — to catch literally thousands of international news, music and entertainment stations, which are uniformly good, by reaching their Net addresses.

Now a Mumbai-based global software solutions player, Geodesic Information Systems, has created software that allows one to receive Internet Radio on a mobile phone. Called Mundu Radio, the beta or trial version of the necessary software for a virtual radio can be freely downloaded from http://radio.mundu.com/

It works on mobile phones (both GSM and CDMA) that are geared to access the Internet, usually through what is known as a General Packet Radio Service or GPRS, wherever that is provided by the mobile service provider. It streams the radio content at 24 kilobits a second or better.

It is said to be better than the MP3 music streaming that many mobile users are familiar with. Geodesic’s co-founder Managing Director, Kiran Kulkarni, says: “Mundu Radio heralds a new era of unlimited mobile edutainment for a generation on the move.”

15 Rules for You to Obey

Blogging Relations are the latest buzzword today in the blogosphere. If you have friendly relations with your fellow bloggers it helps your blog a lot and it also tremendously helps your blog to become famous… Publicists everywhere trying to get media attention for a new product, book or service are now pitching bloggers in addition to journalists and the press. So here are some do’s and don’ts for getting good blog attention.

• Don’t leave your pitch in the comments of a blog post. Send a personal email. Leave comments on blog posts, but only to participate in the conversation, not to pitch or talk about you and your products, services or book.
• Do target your pitch to the interests and niche covered by the blogger. There’s nothing a blogger hates more than receiving pitches completely unrelated to their subject.
• Don’t send a mass mailing press release.
• Do personalize any pitch or press release with the blogger’s name, spelled correctly of course.
• Don’t ask for links. Invite the blogger to review your material. They’ll do the rest if they think your pitch is right for their audience.
• Do develop a relationship with bloggers by reading and commenting on their blogs before you ever pitch them. Subscribe to the RSS feed so you’ll stay current on blog posts.
• Know who else is talking about you. Research your area of expertise through blog searches on Technorati.com, blogsearch.google.com, and Google alerts.
• Offer valuable content. Don’t announce your product, book, or services as if they were the greatest thing to be created. Instead tell the blogger how you can solve a problem for their readers. Then mention the book, product or service.
• Build relationships. Do this over the course of a couple of weeks by participating in the conversations on the bloggers’ blogs.
• Have your own blog to show bloggers you “get it.” And use trackbacks so they know you’re commenting about them at your own blog before you pitch them. (Trackbacks are an automated blogging feature that notifies a blog when another blog talks about them.)
• Don’t waste bloggers’ time on something that isn’t relevant to their blog.
• Don’t use crude language or four-letter words. We see this in a lot in blogs written by professionals who would never dream of using this same language in their clients’ offices.
• Remember that anything you say to a blogger might be seen by journalists because many journalists read blogs on topics they cover.
• Certainly, never chastise a blogger for not accepting comments at their blog. Contact them by email if you have comments, feedback or praise about their content.
• Don’t point out typos at a blogger’s blog. When we find our own typos, we sometimes don’t bother correcting them, because it would go out into the RSS feed again.

I Hope you liked this post.. These Rules if followed will take your blog a long way to fame.. If you have anything that you want to add please drop a comment and I will add to this list..